I suppose at some point in my life I shall be used to being identified as the mother of my children or the wife of my husband.
I think I have somewhat gotten used to the title of israel’s wife.
That I can live with. It connects me with the man I love and tells of our position of togetherness.
I think when my children are present and individuals in the world I will love to be called their mother. That will be an honor and a joy. The name does justice to the position and accurately describes the work being done.
However I do not think I will ever get used to being called things like “baby baker”. The slang just does not do justice to the work being done. I am prone to thinking that the thing I am doing is more dignified than that, has more importance and leads to greater things. Maybe that’s just me, but the term seems slightly disrespectful of the calling of motherhood and pregnancy.
So please try not to be offended by any rejection of said name if you should happen to use it in regards to a pregnant woman, just be advised that you may be risking your head and vital organs, or the poor woman might just laugh weakly sparing you your retribution…
And please be advised that any negative reaction should not be attributed to your previous relationship, only that the woman in question is getting tired of being asked kindly “how are you feeling?” (like I’m some sort of ill) or being told to “take it easy” (since obviously this person knows my capabilities better than me) and the addition of these (shall we say creative?) names is just enough to push us over the edge.
So if you could, when you next speak with a pregnant friend or relative, ask the how they are or what they have been up to recently instead of always and immediately making reference to the growth between the two of you, you might be surprised by the energy and joy in the response.
It’s not that we don’t like to reference or mention the little unborn cutie; it’s just a general weariness of only being asked about the pregnancy when you feel fine and pregnancy is not an illness (dontcha know?) and only about the baby when “yes i can tell he’s growing just as well as you can”.
I suppose that identity is an important thing and at the base of this indignation. My identity is based in God’s love for me and because of this I know who I really am and what is actually important. But being a mother in the world and becoming a mother gives one a new position in this society and the identity placed on us is not necessarily one that is easy to accept – not that accepting it is necessary! I shall not, but now I am left with the question of how I would like to be viewed and making sure to present myself in such a way so as to give the world a second think about who a mother is in Christ instead of this worldly disrespect of value.
This might lead me to do a bible examination on this topic of a mother’s identity. It would be worthwhile, I think.