a focus outside myself

Something I wrote/ realized a couple weeks ago when I was finding joy difficult. In an attempt to “tell it like it is” I’m sharing it today.

“For most of my pregnancy my focus has been very much inside of myself and inside of my life. My thoughts have revolved around how I feel about each little thing, how my husband feels, how we feel. Our preparations and preoccupations have been the primary focus.

Now, however, it seems I have reached a point where continuing to focus on my feelings is not productive. I have begun to feel physically uncomfortable enough everyday that my aching muscles, ligaments and joints do not allow my heart and brain to have the right position and attitude about what is happening and what will happen very soon. My inner focus has left me tired and weary of my aches and pains and short on joy for sharing.

I would like to find a focus outside of myself and return to the thought of God’s plan and what is coming of this time. The focus needs to be on the amazing plan of God and His plans for this child (not on me or my plans). It needs to be on His design and how amazing is the process (we ARE fearfully and wonderfully made!).

The focus is Jesus and praising Him for His great work.”

My song for this and if I ever happen to want to listen to music in labor:

“Take this offering that I bring
Humbly I fall on my knees
To proclaim you’re everything
My life’s nothing without you
Take my hand and lead me through
You are my sustaining love.”

psalm 34:1
I will bless the Lord at all times;
His praise shall continually be in my mouth.      

And yes, it’s definitely helped me with my joy thing though my extremely pregnant body still protests quite vehemently.

2 days til the due date! I absolutely cannot wait to see this little guy in person and hold him in my arms!

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