Weekends are fabulous.
I love them.
Most weekends I get to spend extra time with my husband, I let the household items go to the wayside, we eat a meal or two that I don’t make, and generally lounge about and enjoy each other’s company.
***please read the following monologue with a healthy helping of sarcasm for your continued belief in my mental capacities***
It’s also a great time to eat beef. My husband loves beef. I think it’s something to do with the protein. and being a man. We had beef last night.
Or admit you have beef. I have beef in the freezer. It was on sale. So I stocked up and got 3lbs. We have a small freezer.
Or, even, admit you have a beef with something (where, O where, did that strange expressions come from and the little do go??). A bone to pick. A not-so-lovely thing you’d like to be able to improve with misdirected ramblings.
I am admitting the benefits of all three options for beef on the weekends.
I ate beef, I admit I have beef, and my beef is with the weekend blogosphere.
During the week the blogs and bloggers are forthcoming. Reading material is produced in mass quantities, my google reader feed is fed afresh every time I refresh the page, my mind is amused, and the world is a happy place.
On these weekends,
When perhaps I spend more time refreshing the google site for blog addicts….
The results are slim, the pickings are few, and my reading material for the day is sadly lacking…leading me to believe that perhaps I should read a book, The kind with pages, In more quantities than I do and perhaps forsake the fickle world of weekend slacking in the BlogMart of my amusement.
But the blogs are so addicting.
Other peoples lives spelled out in glittering prose with the perfect dose of humor and informativeness. Or the opinions of the few set forth in a lovely dialogue between the paragraphs which leave little to wonder of their thoughts but leave the reader with much to think about.
These things are hard to resist.
So the week is filled with other people’s scintillating lives and opinions; enough to provoke endless thought. All presented in doeses small enough to ingest in a manner so rapid as to please our fast food culture habits.
The weekend hits!
Our minds and imaginations are left with a great void.
And we learn to rue the day that blogging became an art only for the weekends and all the bloggers began to take the weekends off.
Our poor thoughtless brains wonder in vain.
We write letters to the editor and subscribe to more and more and all the blogs in hopes of avoiding the weekly deficit.
But all is to no avail.
The weekend is for play and blogging has become work.
So we must begin again to amuse ourselves. Read a book. Write our own scintilating memoirs. Pretend our attention spans are more than a toddler’s. And wait the weekend out.
But here I am suggesting the impossible.
Post on the weekends! Please! Do all the work so the rest of us can continue to live off the glamour of your life and opinion.
Who needs to live when you can live vicariously??
I am calling for a the weekends to be just as bloggy and blogged as the weekdays!
I am calling for justice! The rich support the poor!
We need blog welfare and blogstamps so our brains don’t melt away too quickly due to our understimulated weekends and inability to think for ourselves. It works* for the government! Why not here too?
I am calling all lazy bloggers to unite and demand the motivated bloggers give up their rest for our wellbeing!
And that is my beef with the weekend.
Enjoy your weekend!
Go play with your families!
Leave the endless scrolling and refreshing to someone else while you are refreshed elsewhere. :)
And take a picture of a cow’s nose. All the cool kids are doing it.