Pull back: the “unfriend” zone.

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The last few months I’ve had the weird urge to pare down my Facebook friends list.
Not because I really dislike being connected with so many people.
It just felt like too much.
Too much exposure to people I’m not really close to. Too much need to edit what I post because of having too many friends.

so this month I did it.

I went through my acquaintances and deleted a few.

And then a few more.

And then a week later a few more.

I went from almost 500 “friends” to only 300ish. And that still almost feels like too much connection.

I might eventually pare it down even more to just my family and actual closer friends (not just “we knew each other for a little while and now I like to stalk you because your life fascinates me” acquaintances). I’m getting up the nerve and being more selective in sending and accepting friend requests.

I have to limit the clutter of connecting with people I no longer know on any other level except facebook one-liners.

I’ve shortened my list considerably and it has been freeing.

  • I have fewer political posts that get my blood boiling (I may have accidentally unfriended most of my liberal people? Oops…)
  • There are fewer posts in general to look over every time I get on facebook…which is all together too often still… It definitely is helping me spend less time there.
  • I think the friends I kept are less the facebook socialites and are helping my newsfeed be a quieter brain place.
  • I gave myself permission to hide status updates of people who regularly post things that (theoretically) raise my blood pressure.
  • I’m trying to take it back as my own.

I think this was a good move for me.

My brain needed space.

My emotional energy needed conserving.

My time needs less wasting.

And I would like to have a space where I can share my pictures and actually trust they won’t end up somewhere strange.

I would like to feel like I can be as honest on facebook as I am here.

And that takes building a closer circle.

And time I suppose.

We shall see what comes of it.

{{{Incidentally, if you were one of the unfriended (I honestly tried not to unfriend anyone I have recently interacted with), please don’t take it personally and please do come over and like my blog’s page. We can stay connected there. }}}

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Here is an interesting post I read as I was feeling the need to pull back.

And a post from Simple Mom seemed applicable here as well: The Clutter You Can’t See

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Have you ever felt like doing or done anything similar?
How do you filter your Facebook friends? Are you an everyone-I-ever-met person or are you more choosy?
How do you feel about unfriending people you disagree with on some level or another?
Do you like to keep your social networks relaxing or challenging? Big or small? Why?

8 thoughts on “Pull back: the “unfriend” zone.

  1. I routinely pare down my FB friends. I realized after I graduated college that I was “friends” with former classmates that I really hardly talked to outside of our one semester together. I try to keep my friends under 100…right now I have 85. I know this might sound weird but it’s kind of cathartic to “end” FB friendships!

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  2. I have gone on a couple of unfriending sprees on FB and it is quite liberating. I felt guilty at first but then realized that sometimes, you just don’t need the extra clutter and that means FB stuff, too. I should probably cut my time on there as well but I haven’t let go that much yet. :)

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  3. I actually closed my facebook account about a year ago. My family and many friends do live elsewhere, so I sent an email out beforehand making sure I had folks email addresses and phone numbers. I do not miss FB at all, except that one of my local mother’s groups only communicates that way, so I have to find other ways to get the information.
    Sounds like you are trying to take more ownership of your social media, which is very healthy:)

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    1. I have been tempted to do that as well, but I do have a lot of people/family I primarily ‘talk’/interact with on facebook…and I’m horrible about calling or emailing or lettering.

      Thanks for the encouragement!

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  4. I have often felt like it and have gotten rid of a few people……but as an MK a lot of the people I would “unfriend” are interwoven with others I wouldn’t which makes it a little bit tricky. So I don’t unfriend them, I just stick them in a restricted folder where they see nothing of my page really and would have to message me for info, but I’m not actually booting them off my list. And doing so means I don’t get their updates on my wall either :)

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    1. That is a pretty good idea actually! I have a lot of interwoven people too. Our family is huge… Though part of the freeing thing in unfriending for me was just seeing that number go down and knowing my existence was becoming simpler and more private.

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