Sometimes it is so difficult to act out of love instead of frustration. It’s easy to see how he shouldn’t do something but it is harder to think about the more important lessons hidden in what I need to be teaching him.
It’s not just about him not standing on the coffee table because he could fall or because his feet are dirty.
It’s not just about the here and now.
It’s not only about him learning to obey me.
It’s about his life later.
It benefits him, not just me, when he can obey.
When I am showing him what he can and cannot do, how to treat people, or how to pick up after himself he is learning valuable character traits that will be important to him his entire life.
Sometimes the effort involved in helping him to obey doesn’t feel worth it.
I find myself thinking, “Couldn’t he just play with whatever it is and I’ll just clean it up later? I’m too tired to deal with it right now.”
But that wouldn’t be loving him.
Loving him at that moment looks like stepping in and redirecting.
It gets easier to enforce the rules when you can see that effort as an extension of your love rather than a hindrance to your own independence.
When I view discipline as love, I am less likely to give up when the results are not as obvious as I’d like or when I feel frustrated with how ineffective my communication feels.
Love has nothing to do with what you are expected to get, only with what you are expected to give . . . Which is everything.
Katherine Hepburn – as quoted by Kristin Armstrong in Mile Markers
We did not choose to be parents based in our desire for awesome obedient kids, we became parents to share a love.
And love takes everything.
P.S. I loved my sister Amanda’s day 5!!
How do you deal with it when the loving thing causes more conflict?