These next 3 posts are simple ways to improve your relationship with your little, the reception of the ‘no’ and the experience as a whole.
Before I began being more intentional with the discipline and teaching of my boy I would talk to him from my height of 5’7″ or from my place on the couch.
I still do that some, but I have found he is much more receptive to my teaching when I am on his level.
When I go over to him and kneel down and look at his face he finds it a little more difficult to just keep doing the thing he’s not supposed to do.
It also has the benefit of softening my heart toward him and his actions.
When I get down on his level I remember how small he is.
When I look in his eyes I can connect with his inner conflict. I see different needs in his eyes from what his behavior seems to call for. I can see a need to have fun, or interact, or be given attention. I can think about whether he is hungry or tired.
Getting on his level makes me consider him instead of me. I can connect more effectively and our time is better spent.
I might see more of the story. I might see reasons for his struggle to obey instead of attributing it to stubbornness and reacting accordingly.
When I go to him instead of trying to control from a distance I show him that he is more important to me than whatever activity I am doing at the moment.
I am trying to reprogram my brain to show that I care more about him than whatever I’m doing. Because it is true. He is my focus and my priorities are circled around his (and the rest of my family’s) well-being. I just need to reorder my activities and program my mind, brain and heart to respond appropriately.
Stay on his level – it makes your heart feel more gentle.
What are practices you have adopted to stay connected to you child and soften your heart toward him as you redirect his behavior?