“The code is more what you’d call “guidelines” than actual rules.”
Barbossa, Pirates of the Caribbean
I tend to take my schedules lightly.
Sometimes I make them only to break them and remake them. It’s kinda like how you make your to-do list as a form of procrastination.
That’s me. I write schedules so I can feel good about myself and then I don’t really follow them for more than a week or two.
And that’s fine. Schedules are supposed to make life more sane. I don’t have to be a stickler. It is easier to stick with it though, when you know why you’re doing it.
These next few posts I’ll share different pieces of how I’m intentionally ordering my life so as to encourage connection and obedience.
On with it.
I am always trying to do too much.
I want to be reading huge numbers of books, writing lots of blog posts, running, cleaning, feeding, eating, shopping, decorating, editing, going, doing, etc.
I live by my lists. Most of the time it is a really good thing. But sometimes it can be too much.
Especially when my kiddos don’t make it onto my lists. I can get so caught up in everything else that I often miss the little distress signals of need until they are screamingly obvious (no pun intended…ok. Maybe a little pun.). I finally notice when my boy is out of control or getting into things he is not supposed to.
I need to remember to slow down. To put time with him and doing things with him and being more present as a Momma on my priority list. Because really. No one will remember how many books mommy read that year or how fast my 5k time was that one time, but they will remember the little things that are easy to overlook. I would like my littles to remember that I always read them stories, I sometimes played and was really fun, I didn’t get overwhelmed with all the rest of life and instead just made it fun and productive for them to be kids.
Slowing down will make it easier to learn to recognize the differences between needing attention, redirection and discipline/instruction. I can choose my reaction better when I realize he is hitting because he wants attention, whining because he needs food, and playing with forbidden items because he’s bored. It’s not that he’s trying to be annoying or to be bad. He just needs things that he can’t communicate. And honestly, I can’t communicate those things well either!
Adding more structure to my time and his should help us sort these things out. I can be more attentive to him and both of us will be happier when he is more stable.
To listen to our children intently and to engage them purposefully is not about elevating our children to center stage. It is not about building up their self-esteem or centering all things around their immediate need for attention. Instead, it is about showing our children how to value others, how to be generous in relationship, and how to focus our attention. When we say, “wait,” may they understand it to mean: “I will give you my full attention after I complete my task,” rather than “What you have to say is not that important to me.”It is to show them that we value what they have to share, so that they might demonstrate value of others as well.
– Ruth Simons
So as I’m moving forward with my parenting, I’m going to try to include less multitasking (especially less multitasking with screens).
I’m going to try to remember that my small tasks (the nitty gritty of parenting and homemaking) do add up to a great and noble task (raising little humans to be big humans).