Yup. that is all I can say thus far. we have just recently stepped into the land o f”no” and whining and fussing when he doesn’t get his way. it’s an interesting place.
So try to be aware of age appropriate expectations.
Tantrums are just how toddlers get rid of emotions they don’t know how to express and words they don’t know how to say.
“Life’s disappointments are harder to take when you don’t know any swear words.” -Calvin & Hobbes
At this point it might be best ot leave you in the hands of people who seem to know what they’re talking about.
Read on for input on tantrums:
Each child is unique, but I’ve never known one who went through toddlerhood without at least one good tantrum. Why are children prone to tantrums at times? There are many reasons. Young children are small, but often have big feelings, and ideas which they can’t always express or carry out easily. Their daily schedules and activities are decided upon by the adults who care for them. They are learning and growing daily, but they can become easily overstimulated and overwhelmed. When too much pressure builds up they may blow up!
If your child is well nourished and well rested, gets outdoors and plays actively each day, has a predictable daily routine, has plenty of opportunities to participate in her own care, and you are communicating clearly and respectfully, allowing for tarry time, and monitoring your home environment to make changes as needed, chances are temper tantrums will be few and far between.
If a toddler isn’t using her words, it’s because the situation is too stressful, she doesn’t have the words to express her feelings, needs or desires, or she feels “unheard” in a situation, and is ACTING in a way that she knows everyone will pay attention to. Smart child.
The less emotion YOU show, and the more calm acceptance you can muster, the more quickly temper tantrums will dissolve and cease to exist all together. It’s normal and natural for your toddler to have an occasional tantrum, but sometimes parents become so upset or distraught when a child has a tantrum, they will go to any lengths to try to stop it. This gives the child a message that a tantrum is a good way to get a reaction from Mom or Dad, and possibly a way to get things her own way in the future.You don’t want to give your child the idea that temper tantrums are a good way to get you to cave in to every whim and demand, or that she needs to have a tantrum to get your attention anytime he’s upset.
Tantrums and crying are healthy ways for your boy to release his feelings. When he is doing those things he needs you to support, encourage, and stay engaged with him in a calm, empathetic, non-judgmental manner. These expressions of anger, frustration, worry, sadness, etc., are positive and healthy, not a result of something you are doing wrong or a problem that you have to fix. Understanding the value of your boy’s outbursts will help you to not “take on” the feelings and lose your temper. http://www.janetlansbury.com/2011/11/we-dont-want-to-spank/
When no gets old and they stop listening: http://www.regardingbaby.org/2011/11/05/what-to-say-instead-of-no-six-ways-to-gain-your-childs-co-operation/
When they start saying no: http://www.regardingbaby.org/2011/10/04/the-secret-to-turning-a-toddlers-no-into-a-yes/
More tips on appropriate expectations for toddlers: http://www.janetlansbury.com/2012/07/when-respect-becomes-indulgence/
7 thoughts on “25: tantrums happen”
This was a great post. Toddlers can be difficult and over reacting just makes it worse. Redirecting and allowing acceptable choices helps as well as praising when the child calms and makes good choices. Being consistent with consequences each time is also a plus. Always love!
Oh thank you! It is so hard to deal with them in a circumspect manner. But yes, love. Love and grace will get the job done. :) thanks for stopping by this month!
I am now in my third “toddler-hood” with my daughter and her tantrums are definitely more intense than I remember either of my others. Perhaps because I am older! But I also find I am more patient this time around because I know that this is a stage. I agree that the less emotion we show, the better for everyone. We stay calm and the toddler tends to move on more quickly. Great post:)
It is so nice to hear from the mamas who know a bit more! Thanks for that affirmation, Emmie! I will have to keep working on my calm face :)
That stage is so hard! We have moved mostly past it into the land of little girl attitude.
Which is another type of hard altogether! I will look to you for all the answers when we get to that stage! ;)