A few nights ago I was sitting between my sleeping babies, awake. Israel was gone.
I had nothing to do but go to sleep. And I was tired. So that’s what I did.
But before I went to bed I had to get past my urge to write. Usually, when my babies are asleep and my husband is occupied, writing is my priority quiet time activity. And honestly the quote that comes to my head when thinking about this is;
To give anything less than your best, is to sacrifice the gift.
– Steve Prefontaine – a crazy runner dude (for those of you not steeped in runner culture)
What Pre says rings true with my try-hard self. I want to do well. All the time.
But that evening I was tired, it was late, and it made more sense not to stay up for another hour.
So I forced myself to lie down, take some deep breaths and drift off into the restfulness of well-earned sleep.
As I was drifting off I thought about how God has given me this desire, the time and the ability to write. I thought about how it is my instinct now, to write (or at least want to!) in all my spare time, but still there is immeasurable grace there.
If I don’t write. It’s ok. I haven’t served any less well.
I want to honor the gift He has given me, while still accepting the grace He gives in my inability to use that gift perfectly. I need to realize my humanity and embrace God’s provision as is displayed through my weakness.
Something about sleeping instead of doing places us at His mercy because, instead of relying on ourselves to feel fulfilled, we are forced to stop and trust that all will be well even while we rest.
Instead of Pre, I am going to quote Paul on this:
“But He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.
– 2 Corinthians 12:9”
Sometimes God calls us to sleep so that He can do His work while we are resting up for the next challenge.
How have you experienced God calling you to sleep recently?