Something we choose {#wholemama}

IMG_6783Happy September, All! 

My younger one turns two next week. I can’t believe it. My older one will be three and a half on the same day and our baby is due five days after that. Five days before our 4.5 year mark in our marriage. 

This might tell you something about what my ‘purpose’ has felt like this last almost half-decade. I think there were a couple months where I wasn’t either pregnant or breastfeeding, but it has been a time filled with new knowledge and appreciation for how my woman body was created. The carrying, birthing, feeding, and raising of babies is a purpose, a very physical one, but I have found I cannot limit my existance to this one purpose in life

If I do I start to place walls in places there are none and begin to see no choices where I have many. If I limit myself to motherhood as the greatest purpose I trap myself in discontent and resentment. It’s not a fully story of a life. 

I have had to embrace purpose in a different way. Choosing to do things that allow me to live as a whole person instead of a shadow. 

Giving myself leeway and choices and agency instead of constantly surrendering to my own presuppositions about what my christian woman life should look like. 

This year I purposed to write more. I choose to do this thing that forces me to think through all the things.

I chose to alter my appearance in a way that reminds me I decide things for me. Short hair does that for me. I choose to thrift (or buy new) clothes that feel like me instead of relying on only hand-me-downs.

I’ve had to choose to be myself a little more. 

And somehow I needed to give myself a little more permission.

It’s not so much saying I am only here on this world to be myself. I know my sphere is bigger and smaller than that and often we are called to stretch out of who we think we may be to grow into who we might be. 

But in every situation I find myself in I get to choose how to be. I have to choose to live how I would live and who I think God is asking me to be. 

So in the midst of this insecurity with my own womanhood I am saying we have choices. Maybe you don’t have to choose to be yourself as purposefully as I do, maybe you don’t struggle with your womanhood, but we all have stages of growth we must walk through and we have to do it ourselves. And the journey looks different for all of us.

Purpose can’t be limited to job titles or definitions overarching. It is something we choose. 

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Hey, lovely ladies, the word for this week is ‘purpose’! Link up with us or read everyone else’s posts by clicking on the linky frog.

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Find me on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and Goodreads!

Also, our #wholemama facebook group is gathering and you should join us there!
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12 thoughts on “Something we choose {#wholemama}

  1. This is lovely, Erika. It is also something I have had to choose to be myself purposefully–you put it so well. And wow–blessings for another little life in your family!

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  2. Interesting to consider how much choice we have in our purpose, even if we believe God has already chosen it for us, we still have the freedom to choose differently. And, yes, to choosing to be yourself. I’ve done this more and more as I’ve grown older, been in healthier relationships that support those choices. So thought provoking, Erika.

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  3. “But in every situation I find myself in I get to choose how to be. I have to choose to live how I would live and who I think God is asking me to be.” An excellent reminder for us all – beautifully said. Reminds me a little of the quote: “Be you, everyone else is taken.”

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  4. “But in every situation I find myself in I get to choose how to be. I have to choose to live how I would live and who I think God is asking me to be. ”

    Love this! Very true. I think the nature of living is that we constantly weave in and out of these times where we kind of need to re-identify ourselves, even if that means affirming the identity we already have, or changing something to feel a little more on solid ground.

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