Happy September, All!
My younger one turns two next week. I can’t believe it. My older one will be three and a half on the same day and our baby is due five days after that. Five days before our 4.5 year mark in our marriage.
This might tell you something about what my ‘purpose’ has felt like this last almost half-decade. I think there were a couple months where I wasn’t either pregnant or breastfeeding, but it has been a time filled with new knowledge and appreciation for how my woman body was created. The carrying, birthing, feeding, and raising of babies is a purpose, a very physical one, but I have found I cannot limit my existance to this one purpose in life
If I do I start to place walls in places there are none and begin to see no choices where I have many. If I limit myself to motherhood as the greatest purpose I trap myself in discontent and resentment. It’s not a fully story of a life.
I have had to embrace purpose in a different way. Choosing to do things that allow me to live as a whole person instead of a shadow.
Giving myself leeway and choices and agency instead of constantly surrendering to my own presuppositions about what my christian woman life should look like.
This year I purposed to write more. I choose to do this thing that forces me to think through all the things.
I chose to alter my appearance in a way that reminds me I decide things for me. Short hair does that for me. I choose to thrift (or buy new) clothes that feel like me instead of relying on only hand-me-downs.
I’ve had to choose to be myself a little more.
And somehow I needed to give myself a little more permission.
It’s not so much saying I am only here on this world to be myself. I know my sphere is bigger and smaller than that and often we are called to stretch out of who we think we may be to grow into who we might be.
But in every situation I find myself in I get to choose how to be. I have to choose to live how I would live and who I think God is asking me to be.
So in the midst of this insecurity with my own womanhood I am saying we have choices. Maybe you don’t have to choose to be yourself as purposefully as I do, maybe you don’t struggle with your womanhood, but we all have stages of growth we must walk through and we have to do it ourselves. And the journey looks different for all of us.
Purpose can’t be limited to job titles or definitions overarching. It is something we choose.
Hey, lovely ladies, the word for this week is ‘purpose’! Link up with us or read everyone else’s posts by clicking on the linky frog.
Also, our #wholemama facebook group is gathering and you should join us there!