Sometimes I feel like I’m trying too hard, but not often. Most of the time I feel like I’m not trying hard enough and their must be something more I should be doing.

But here in my little writerly world I feel like I’ve been trying too hard to write only in a certain way instead of just being myself every now and then without the deep layers of introspection and self-doubt.

So I am here to claim back the the little things every now and again. Hopefully.

I’m the type of person that once I put in a structure I want to keep the structure there forever. And then I get discouraged when it doesn’t work anymore so everything stops in a stall.

So here in this bloggerly world I am going to take off the pressure a little and just write whatever I want a bit more. Because I think I’ve been reading too many blogger how-to’s and need to stop wrestling for exact audience/purpose/plan and just write like I enjoy it.

So:

Things that aren’t working for me anymore:

• Book reviews. Last year I reviewed a lot of books that I got for free because I reviewed them. And I enjoyed it. But now it has turned into a have-to and somehow it feels less fun and I’m just tired of always having to decide what to say about a specific book, not to mention actually finish the darn thing. Especially if I didn’t like it. So once I write the few more that I’ve already promised out, I think I will stop. Unless I love a book and then maybe I’ll share about it, but I need to claim back the freedom to write, or not write about a book.
• Perfect posts. You think I would know this by now, but I still get caught in the “needs to fit in one of my categories, not seven, and be entirely purposeful or encouraging or up to a certain standard. And while standards are still in, I’m going to do away with perfect. Because I don’t need it. done.
• Filters. My filters are getting clogged with the things I’m not letting myself say. It may not seem like it, but I feel like things have gotten way too formal here. So here’s a warning I may talk about the frustrations of potty training or 4 year old sass. Or just going to the library a little more.

I’d love to see more: 

• Reading because I want to.
• Normal person posts instead of tending toward angsty.
• Having more fun. ahem.
• Wholemama continues to be great, but I’m needing a different tone for my own contributions.
• Random quotes/pictures/joys/lists. I don’t know. Just a little more freedom. And, of course, I know that my readers don’t have too many expectations, so maybe I am just saying this for me: “Be free. Be you. Be whole. Even here. Don’t be perfect <– I mean what does that even mean?”

Because somehow I need to hear that again and again as I tape up more boxes for my thoughts and dreams to live instead of rummaging through for the best pieces and throwing it all to the wind.

So here’s to a grand 6th year of blogging!

And in the spirit of this post I am hitting post instead of spending 10-20 minutes editing and second-guessing myself. so have fun with that.

but Bam- take that world.

And Happy International Women’s Day. Because I feel like this is all related.

besos,

Erika

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