When I consider my life in the light of wholeness, I am invited to grab up all the pieces of who I am or want to be and meld them together into my own one life.
The challenge is knowing how to fit all the pieces in, which pieces to choose, and where to even begin.
Right now with my three littles I have a rather busy life. We have lots of toys, tantrums, smiles, giggles, games, fighting, tears, diapers, and everything in between as you might imagine. And it leaves me tired.
But there is freedom in embracing the seasons of my life. I can choose adventures and goals and time based on the season and with the knowledge that seasons change and I can simply enjoy this one for now. New seasons will bring new adventures, new orders, and new pursuits.
Right now, I am in this season of little kids and I know I am invited into my here instead of out in the wheres of the world.
It means a little less writing sometimes, as we are out and about and naps/writing times are sometimes scarce.
It means leaning away from some things and diving headlong into others.
It means a less experimenting, less wandering, less time alone. It means more adventuring with my kids, more running, more cooking, more working, more arbitrating. But I know I am invited and welcomed and called to dig deep into the things I know I love, and find the way of wholeness right here.
In this little place where screaming is sometimes shouts of joy and sometimes all the mayhem.
In this more and less life.
It’s listening to the needs of my own family to be together and to get outside.
It’s building our family culture around adventure and holding hands down the steep parts.
It means discovering a strong sense of place and a lifegiving purpose with these people I know are mine.
It’s more writing some days, and less others.
More becoming, more growing, more laughing and learning.
More trusting, more denying, more surprising.
It is the challenge of wholemama.
It is taking the sum of everything you can see and paying attention to what you can hold in your hands at any given time.
It’s leaning into the hill on the way up. Stopping to gauge progress and sip some water. Determined and strong.
It’s gazing across the horizon when you reach the top. Taking that selfie or taking in the view. In awe and accomplished.
It’s holding hands on the way down. bumping, running and skidding towards whatever is next. Tired, but happy.
Every little thing comes and goes.
I can choose the now and here all while envisioning what might be coming.
I choose more.
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