I routinely leave Target empty-handed. I’d really like to enjoy Target, but the overwhelm of too many options just hits way too hard. Maybe one day? I know it’s not really a problem. I just have FOMO and a mental image of all the cute things people have told me they found at Target. They elude me.
Oh well. For now, I’m happy continuing my thrift-store scavenging. I like hunting down just the right thing for a bargain. Every now and then something needs to be bought new, but most of the time it works.
I think this preference has to with decisions. I don’t like having too many options. I can easily become bogged down decisions. If I have all the information I want to evaluate all the information. Looking over more than a couple options gets mentally exhausting. I prefer the get-it-done approach to the hem-and-haw-over-all-the-options approach. Which feels surprising given my tendency to want to do things right.
But a few examples in my life would be: how I chose where to go to college, my summer lifeguarding job, and my darn near elopement in South America to avoid the stress of extended wedding planning with lots of tiny details.
But parenting has changed this a bit and these days I make a lot of decisions on a regular basis. Most of which I can’t really take a shortcut and not consider all the options. Many parenting related questions have a variety of answers depending on your own circumstances, beliefs, or opinions. School, discipline, health, extracurriculars, time-management, faith, and so many more issues in parenting can extremely personal, controversial, and diverse.
Often the bigger picture things are a little more cut and dried. Jesus? yes. Specific denominational church affiliation? open to interpretation. Health? yes. Following every single recommendation? Discern away. School? yes. Traditional school? not right now.
This new thing that has helped me in making decisions or taking on daunting tasks is not especially revolutionary, but for me it’s worth mentioning.
I’ve always assumed you make a decision once and are done with it. Lately I’ve found freedom in committing to something, but in the back of my mind reminding myself that it doesn’t have to be forever. Right now we are home-schooling, but I’m giving myself and my kids an out. If it doesn’t work, we change it. Our situation will always be changing in a variety of ways, and our school choices might change to make life work for all of us together, too. You can nearly always change your mind or change your plans or try something new later. You don’t have to know or be completely certain one way or another is the only right way.
I’ve found it is important to learn how to commit a little bit, even while giving myself an out around the corner if need be. I’m not saying forever, but I am saying make the most of this decision as it is right now. Give it a fighting chance and see what happens.
Sometimes the choices that seem the most overwhelming can seem a little less so when taken with the caveat of: You can always change your mind.
Chances are, if you’ve found an option that works well for everyone involved, you won’t want to change you mind.
And then you’ll be about 27 steps ahead, because you’ve found something that works.
But if you do change your mind, because that decision just isn’t working, then at least you tried something. It’s just another thing to know about yourself or your family. You can move on with that information in mind.
Anyway. This feels a little ramble-y, but hopefully you’ve found something helpful here.
What’s one decision you’re glad you cut all the options out of? Where can you find a little more freedom to make a choice by holding a little space for freedom to change your mind later?
Find me on Instagram!
Even though the end of October is the official end of #write31days, I’ll be finishing my series up in November, in an expeditious manner.
This month I am joining the #write31days community to explore the idea of the Whole Together Family because I believe we get be who God created us to be – together. Find the whole list posts here or click on the image.