One of the things I have to remind myself of sometimes is that we are all right where we are supposed to be.
In this house, with these people, this dog, these cats, this job, that car, those shoes, this ridiculous stack of books.
Everything is right as it should be.
This has been one of the most helpful things in learning about the enneagram. One of the ways the enneagram is useful is that it pinpoints our weakness, proclivities, escape mechanisms, etc. But one thing I’ve found useful lately the idea of each type having a bent toward one specific viture. The virtue of Ones is serenity and I’ve found that idea extremely helpful as I try to ground myself more in God and less in how something seems wrong. I’ve been trying a little bit to remind myself of that serenity that is available to me thanks to the saving grace of Jesus.
My faith is the only reason I can say it’s all going to work out or it will all be ok. It’s something I have to cultivate and keep throwing my trust back on Jesus.
Because it will be ok.
It’s not my job to figure everything out, fix everything, or put anything back together. I can live in this little messed-up life and still be ok, because Jesus is where my hope is, not me or my life.
It’s so hard though, on days when I’m so worried about many things. Or when I want to know that all my people are ok and ok with me. I want to be able to do the right thing, not just trust that God has it all worked out.
But, peace. that is ultimately the only thing I can do.
I need to let go of my little sense of control and try to hold the rightness of where we are more sacredly and lightly at the same time.
Because we are all meant to be here. We are all here in this family, in this house, as the parents that we are, with the kids who they specifically are – and we get to make a life of it, right here.
Maybe this is is the sacred piece: We are all meant to be here.
There is a lightness somewhere in here that I have yet to encounter in my striving.
We are all going to mess up. It’s not in our control to set everything to rights or promise that everyone or everything is going to work out right for each of us. In every moment or any moment.
I guess the lightness comes in knowing that this is a changing circumstance. Nothing will be like this forever and we can have faith that God has eternity figured out whether we muddle anxiously or skip joyously through the right nows – as the case may be on any given day.
This is the lightness: Here isn’t forever, in any of its good or bad. We can take what comes and feel it, enjoy it, survive it, and then let it go.
Because the rest is not up to us.
Holding it all sacredly and lightly at the same time.
peace, peace, peace.
This is where we are all supposed to be.
(#the100dayproject – #100daysofpressingpost 3/100)