All is quiet.
All is calm.
On the outside.
But what is true all through and through, even if my mind won’t leave well enough alone, is that God is good everyday.
He is good today when the kids fought less than usual, but bedtime pushed all my buttons.
He is good on the day last week when the kids fought more than usual.
On the day we stayed home. On the day we visited. On the day we saw no one extra. On the day we put traveled miles. On the grocery shopping day. On the lazy morning day. On the existential crisis day.
God is good. and we are good. thanks to him. And that is all.
It is easy to assume that some combination of goals, hopes, balance, and reality will put us into the zone of perfect happiness or at least decided contentment with how life is going or how a day went or whatnot.
But I find that, even on these seemingly just right days where I do the things I wanted to, the kids were happier than usual, and everything felt normal and good, I still find ways to be uncertain about all the things we’re doing.
I could have been more patient.
I could have done the dishes.
I could have answered my messages.
I could have played a game with the kids.
I could have wasted less time on my phone.
I even find ways to second-guess the way I’m thinking about how this day went. But I think, for me, part of wholeness might be accepting that each day is good. Even if I don’t do my best. Even if we all could have done things a little differently. Even if we did just fine and it still feels weird.
God is good. So the day is good. And it is enough.
I can try to know the status of my actions, but at some point that just becomes beside the point. This retrospective reflection of flaws just isn’t helpful after a little while. It leaves me stuck in my head and angsty over things outside of my control.
So I have to put the day to rest.
Because besides that fact that God is good, sometimes I don’t really know too much.
So to put the day to rest, here’s a little prayer for all of us.
Thank you for today. Thank you for the ways you’ve shone through the many layers of today. I’m giving it back to you as finished and done with. Let the beautiful moments shine, the learning moments linger, and all that I am uncertain of be covered in your grace and love. Let me go about my day tomorrow with heart and eyes wide open to your goodness and accepting of my own humanity. Trying my best, but also secure in the fact that it’s not about being my best anymore. Let me feel the lightness of a different story.