In case you can’t see it, this image says: “Other people’s behavior is about them, not about you.”
I saw this post on Instagram and I found it relieving in a way.
I often find myself reacting to what I assume someone is thinking about me by how they’re acting.
This little sentence helps to turn the responsibility of words and behaviors onto the doer, which frees up my mind to consider their feelings more than mine in the moment because I’m not so focused on self-defense.
A commenter on the original posted that any interaction between two people will be about the both of them. And it’s true. It will, but there is something that frees us up a little when we say their behavior is about them (and their stories, insecurities, hurts or fears) but also conversely, my behavior is about me (and my stories, insecurities, hurts or fears).
Dividing up who each person’s response is about seems like a helpful approach even as we maintain responsibility for hurt caused. Thinking about their response as being about them might help us to understand a little more clearly the why behind the action or response.
It doesn’t absolve us from maintaining and repairing the relationship, it just provides insight and boundaries.
Those are my few thoughts. What do you think about this: “Other people’s behavior is about them, not about you”? What about: “Your behavior is about you, not about other people”?
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It seems like there are a few angles you could argue this from, but it’s worth thinking about whatever your conclusion!
Let me know what you think!
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Erika Shirk 