You don’t have to {The Kind Side}

You don’t have to have any of it under control.

This is obvious.

But it also isn’t.

I often feel like I have to have things under control.

Maybe not all the things, but at least my things. At least some things.

I know I can’t control a lot of things, but I also know I can control a lot of things and I want to have the situations that belong to me handled.

No mayhem. Nothing unpredictable. No loose ends. No iffy scenarios with indirect, tricky, or debatable solutions, please.
Just some neatly lined up, small problems waiting for my magic touch.
And then? Voila! Handled.

But we all know that’s not how it works.

So often there are no straightforward answers or the timeline of a problem leaves a lot to be desired. We get left hanging, caught wondering, or stuck in the gritty nuances of continuing situations.

And there’s not too much we can do about it.

We can spin around in circles and try all the options. We can press buttons, pull strings, apply bandaids, call in the brigades, up our resources, find all the knowledge, or wait like a boss.


Even with all that action, there’s going to be something careening off the edge behind our backs or slipping out of our grasp.

But here’s the good news: You don’t have to have it under control. Any of it.

It’s all a ruse.

Even if you feel like you should have something “under control”.

You don’t have to.

And no one else does either.

I don’t know about you, but I find that idea relieving and freeing. Suddenly, instead of worrying about the overarching ideal of doing all my things well, I have a lot more energy to address the small things as they come.

It’s the same problems, just taking them one problem or one increment at a time instead of attempting to patch them all up all at once.

Do the next thing.

As well as you can.

Don’t worry too much if it’s not as well as you could have.

Let it go.

Slow down.

Do the next thing after that.


Notes from the Kind Side Project
Notes from the Kind Side – Where I Pause to Make Space for Kind Self-Talk

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